Michiru nodded and gave the other senshi a comforting nod before she and Haruka left. The followed the King and the nurse in silence. Any words that they have, comforting or not, would most likely fall on deaf ears at this point. She was a little taken aback that the Queen wanted to see her and Haruka. She had thought that she would want one of the other senshi with her. Michiru would not refuse her Queen. When the arrived to the room. Michiru and Haruka hung back a little. They were in sight so the Queen would see them but was out of the way when the King approached his wife.

Serenity looked at Endymion, she felt a longing to be close to him, so much so that it was painful for her to appear satisfied with him merely holding her hand. She felt so much fear in this moment as she could not remember why she was in the hospital. 

She turned her head to meet his gaze when he asked how she was doing, she spoke her voice showing how nervous she was. "Well,I just woke up, and I am in the hospital, Endy, why am I here, what happened, why can't anyone tell me what happened?" She asked her voice growing more and more panicked as she spoke.

Serenity grabbed the water the nurse had brought her and nervously sipped it as she saw Haruka and Michiru in the room with her. 

As she grabbed Endymion's hand, she finally noticed that her belly appeared to be smaller, she suddenly had a fragment of a memory or being attacked and then being brought to the hospital, she assumed that everything had gone well, and that she had just fallen asleep. She looked up at Endymion her eyes filling with excitement, she didn't remember what happened so she assumed all was well. "Where is Small Lady, can I see her Endy, can I hold our beautiful baby girl?" She asked as she smiled, thinking everything was okay.

She then began to go off into a new tangent, "and when I- we go back to the palace, Mako-chan and I can go shopping for dresses for her and Mako-chan can make the most beautiful princess dresses for our little girl, oh- Michiru-san, Haruka-san, and everyone, you can all spend time with her of course, everyone will get to spend time with the princess." She said before asking, "Endy, where is our little girl, can the nurse bring her in so I can see how beautiful she is?" She asked not remembering that Small Lady had not survived birth and she would not be able to hold her little girl.
 
She turned her gaze to Endymion, her eyes filled with excitement and wonder.

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When his wife first asked him why she was in the hospital, King Endymion wondered how to break the news to her gently about what had happened to her.  A couple seconds later, when his wife asked about Small Lady, seeming to now at least remember that she had given birth, Endymion started to get an idea.  But he couldn't get a word in edgewise as he Queen rattled on and on about their little princess for a minute or two.

Finally, his wife paused for long enough after asking about making a request of the nurse to see their little girl.  The King had to admit to himself as he rubbed the back of his neck in nervousness, she did have a special talent for putting him in awkward, almost precarious, situations.  "She is ... ano ... not well," Endymion finally got out a little uneasily.  "That is why the nurse cannot bring her to us."

Haruka approached the Queen. Given the circumstances she knew that the King would have a difficult time. This was an unimaginable loss. He knew that the King had experienced loss in his previous incarnation as Mamoru. This was not going to easy for them. Haruka sat down on the edge of the bed and patted the Queen gently on the head.

"It will be ok Dumpling Head." She said, reverted to an old name she once called her.

Serenity looked at Endymion, though he didn't say it, she could sense he was somewhat annoyed with her. She felt hurt by this, but decided to push it aside. She smiled as Haruka came over and pat her head and reassured her everything was going to be okay.

Serenity glanced back at Endymion, she wasn't sure she should speak, but she decided to speak as she gently grabbed Haruka's hand. "I know it will be okay," she faced Endymion as she spoke, but she couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze, fearful he may get upset or annoyed with her again, "we can afford all the medical care needed for our little girl, and I can stay with her until she gets better, we can read her stories and let her know how much we love her. I will hold her close to me so she will safe and I will tell her everyday how much I love her." Serenity said hoping this would lighten the mood in the room.

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Endymion's heart started breaking inside at his wife's repeated insistence that Chibi-Usa was fine.  Now he was starting to give up on his former idea that gradually leading his wife to the truth step-by-step was the best approach to take.

So he decided to break the truth to the Queen now, in this step, by the gentlest way he could think of.  Endymion kept his smile on her the whole time as he explained to her sweetly "Haruka-san is correct - things will be okay.  Even though your stated plan to encourage Chibi-Usa back to good health won't be possible either."  At this point, he made sure he was in good position for his wife to lean on his shoulder before continuing his explanation "Use my shoulder to cry on if you want, but unfortunately, she died before she was born.  The doctors here tried to revive her, but all their efforts were unsuccessful.  However, I will make sure that things get better for both you and me, so that you can be confident once again that things are okay.  Alright, honey?"

Serenity looked at Endymion with uncertainty, looking next to Haruka and then back to Endymion. She felt the color drain from her face as she felt the heart wrenching pain once more. She felt as if she had been run over by ten semi trucks. In that moment Serenity lost all of her energy as she fell back in her hospital bed, her head falling on Endymion's shoulder, and clutched his hand tightly lacing her fingers with his. She needed to feel something, needed to know Endymion was here with her and would support her as she came back to the reality that her daughter, the only child she was ever going to be able to have was gone. Serenity spoke with no emotion in her voice, her head hanging low, " so you're telling me, the girl I fell in love with in the past, the same girl who visited us and the child who I was going to name after me, my one shining star, the child I have been dreaming of for over a century is gone, she died and I don't remember...." 

As soon as the words left her mouth, the memories came back rushing to her mind, too much to take in at once, Serenity reached for the pink basin on her night stand and emptied the contents of her stomach into the basin. She pushed the now filled basin away back on the table calling a nurse to  inform her or what happened and so she would take the basin away. She glanced towards Endymion as hot tears spilled out of her eyes. 

She turned her gaze to Endymion and spoke, "why, why didn't you let me h-h-h-hold her Endymion?" She asked as her body began to shake. "How am I ever going to survive this, how can I ever overcome this when I feel completely numb to everything around me? How can I ever be happy again?  "How can I....?" She asked as she reached for Endymion, trying to draw him nearer to her, wanting him to hold her in his embrace. She looked up at him with fearful eyes, a face like that of a child who has just woken up from a terrible nightmare. She tried her best to sit up and scoot nearer to him, but as she tried to sit up she felt pain in her abdomen and laid back down trying to scoot to the edge to be as close to her husband as she could.

She had not forgotten that Haruka and Michiru were in the room and she hoped that maybe they could help shed some light on why the universe was so messed up and she was facing this terrible tragedy.
*****
Soon the nurse came to check Serenity's vitals as well as her incision. She noticed the Queen was a bit disturbed but wanted to give her a moment alone with her loved ones before intervening.

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Endymion felt some of his wife's pain when the color drained from her face as she went through the agony again.  Having to watch his wife go through this once was bad enough; now he had to watch it again.  And he knew he couldn't be feeling as much agony as she was.  He wished there was something he could do to make her feel better, but he knew the only thing he had to do so were promises that he would make the future better for her, promises that probably sounded empty to her right now.  As she clutched his hand and laced her fingers with his, he gave his wife's hand a light return squeeze to try to convey that he would be there for her, doing everything in his power to make her life better.  When his wife spoke, expressing all of the things she had felt for Chibi-Usa, he quietly replied, trying to convey a tone that he felt at least some of her heartbreak "Unfortunately, yes, my dear."

Endymion felt more of his wife's heartbreak as he watched her other reactions, from emptying her stomach to asking questions that he could not answer.  All he could do was try to reassure her "I will find a way to make you feel happy again.  Somehow, I will find a way."  He tried to show his conviction to coming through for her on that promise in his voice.

When she reached for him, Endymion could tell what his wife was trying to do, so he started to reach out to hold her.  But he was already too late, because she suddenly felt a pain that forced her to lay back down again.  Then he noticed her scoot over to the edge of her bed nearest him.  Seeing how much she was longing for more contact with him than just holding hands, he reached out with his free hand toward her back side (which was now laying against her bed) and tried to find a space between her back side and her bed where he could nudge his arm through there.

Serenity felt herself go numb when Endymion told her that it was true, Small Lady was gone and she would never be back. Serenity knew her husband meant his words to comfort her, but she just couldn't imagine ever being happy again. When she felt Endymion put his arm behind her back, she couldn't help but feel awkward, that was not what she was hoping for, and as she lay there she realized she would have to say what she wanted from her husband because he wasn't picking up on it. 

"Endymion, how do you expect that to comfort me?" she said a bit bitter through her tears. She wasn't trying to be mean or vindictive, but rather expressing her desperate need to be comforted by her husband. 

"Do I have to spell it out for you? I want you to hold me, I need you to hold me..." she said as she felt herself getting overworked and she beat a fist against her hospital bed in frustration. Serenity scooted very slowly, pushing through the pain she felt, to the other side of the bed hoping that Endymion would lay beside her and hold her so she could feel something, because right now all she felt was numbness and suffering.

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Now it was Endymion's turn to be confused and a little hurt.  Though he did a good job of hiding how he was a little hurt by what his wife had just told him, because he didn't want her to feel guilty (if he could help it) on top of every other negative thing that she was already feeling.  So he just told her in a tone that indicated he was a little confused but still loved her "I thought I was trying to hold you.  Don't I need to reach an arm around your back as a necessary first step to holding you, honey?"

But Endymion didn't forget to observe her other actions as he told his wife that.  So he noticed her scoot over to the side of her bed away from him.  In response to that, he briefly stood up, then started to test her hospital bed by sitting down on the side of it nearest to him, while muttering to nobody in particular "I hope these beds are built to support two people."  Then he laid his upper body (above his hips) down on the bed to further test it.  Finally, he slowly swung one leg up onto her bed, then the other.  In this process, Endymion made sure to stay above her covers, to reduce the chances that a nurse or other hospital worker would get the wrong impression if they came in and saw him in her bed.  Next, he turned over until he was facing her while still laying on her bed, being careful to not roll onto her (and thus cause her further pain).  Finally, he asked her in as tender and sweet of a tone as he could muster "Now are you going to open up a space where I can fit my arm through a gap behind your back to reach all the way around you to thus hold you?  Or am I going to have to try to make one myself, honey?"

Serenity glanced over at Endymion and apologized, "I'm sorry Endy, I didn't know that's what you were going to do." She said as she averted his gaze for a minute, thinking about how alone she still felt even though Endymion was next to her now, she still felt alone. As he got into the bed she spoke, her voice carrying a haunting tone. 

"Am I not your Usako anymore? Have we changed that much in a hundred years Endy? She asked, she wanted him to call her by her name he had given her years ago, or even her shortened name Sere which he had often used in the past, she wanted to feel alive the way she did when he called her Usako and she called him Mamo-chan. It was a warming feeling that would bring her a glimmer of hope to her chilled heart after she had learned of Small Lady's death.

When he asked if she was going to make room so he could put his arm behind her, she nodded, but knew sitting up, even for a brief moment would not be as easy as it sounded. She was still feeling pain, possibly needing another dose of pain medicine. She glanced toward Haruka and Michiru, appreciating their silent presence, but she wished someone could understand or at least explain to Endymion why sitting up was such a painful experience at this time. 

As she sat up, she felt her stitches rubbing against her skin She gripped the handrail on her bed tight as she let out a stifled scream as she slowly sat up. Sucking in her breaths to push through the pain. Soon enough she fell backwards, trying to gain her breath as she did her best to rotate herself so she could rest her head on Endymion's shoulder. She rested a hand on his chest as she allowed her tears to fall once more causing her small body to tremble in Endymion's embrace.

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"Oh yeah!  Usako!" chimed Endymion when his wife reminded him about his old nickname for her.  He continued wistfully, then concluded apologetically "I always did like that term, and the term Mamo-chan.  Sorry about that."

Endymion then watched his wife reply to his questions.  He observed her struggle to even sit up, and could not help but notice her cry of pain, even if she stifled it.  He had to admire the lengths she was still willing to go to in order to please him, even after all he had done earlier during this overnight period to disappoint, if not anger, her.  However, through all these thoughts, Endymion didn't fail to act, sticking his arm out across the surface of the bed where his wife's back had just been - and was about to be again, he soon found out.  He almost winced when she landed on his arm, because even though he had had enough time to stick it out as far as he had wanted to there, he hadn't had enough time to get it rotated to a comfortable position for having the weight of her back on it; but he was successful in masking that wince.

After his wife landed back down on her bed like that, Endymion first made sure to tell her in a very thankful tone "I must profusely thank you for going through such pain in order to make that easy for me, Usako."  Then he continued on in a soothing tone "Now you can just relax and let out all your emotions.  And through it all, plus afterwards, I'll be here to comfort you and help you feel better."  While he said all that, he successfully rotated his arm under her back to where it was in a comfortable position to hold her (trying to distract her from the motion by talking to her), then wrapped his other arm around the space above her so that his two hands could comfortably join and proceed to hold her in a hug (but a light hug, figuring she was still in pain).

When the King moved over to the bed, Haruka got up to allow them more space. She took Michiru's hand and they settled down in the chairs near the bed. While a bit taken aback that the Queen was not able to hold her child, she bit her tongue. She glanced over at Michiru who had the same puzzled look. This was not the best time for that discussion and figured that there was a reason for that. 

"How are you feeling?" Haruka asked quietly as the Queen shifted around.

It was a lot to process for Serenity, she was taking in the fact that Endymion was now laying next to her and that he was thanking her for going through the pain she did in order for him to put an arm around her, she was thinking, if only you knew the half of the pain I am in right now. A nurse had come in at some point and had explained the emergency procedure to her, all she knew was she had a waist long incision and her intestines had been taken out in order to get to the baby, she couldn't image she would be doing much of anything other than laying down at least for another few days. 

When Michiru brought the pillow and told her it would relieve the stress, Serenity nodded and thanked her for grabbing the pillow for her. She looked up at Michuri with eyes that held an emptiness but also eyes that pleaded for them to continue to support her. 

When Haruka asked how she was feeling, Serenity thought for a minute before answering, knowing she could be honest and real with Haruka, Michiru too and they would listen and give her their support. 

"I, I don't really think I feel anything Haruka-san, I feel completely numb, like I am in a bottomless pit surrounded by darkness, I know everyone is here supporting me, but I have never felt so alone." She said as she clutched her blanket and tears began to stream down her cheeks again, she leaned her head on Endymion's shoulder and asked, to no one in particular, "why did this have to happen to me, is it my fault, if I hadn't, if I hadn't gotten up to get food, none of this would have happened!" She said as her body trembled and she continued to sob on Endymion's shoulder.

When his wife said she had never felt so alone (in response to Haruka's question), Endymion wasn't sure how to help her on that point, other than to continue to hold her & comfort her, so he hoped Haruka and/or Michiru could help out in that regard.  When his wife asked "why did this have to happen to me?", Endymion didn't have a good answer, so he decided to leave that question alone.  But the subject she expressed right after that, he felt he should comfort her on that, so he soothingly told her "I know it may feel like it's your fault that Chibi-Usa had to die.  But believe me, Usako, you couldn't have known any better beforehand, so you did nothing wrong."

--------------------

and a little Minako Aino

Meanwhile, Ami had been hurriedly driving to their hospital over the last several minutes.  She had woken up not much before leaving, then gotten a shock when she had checked her messages from overnight.  Now she was worried about the Queen.

When she arrived by the hospital, Ami quickly parked in the first open space she could find in its parking lot.  Then she rushed in to the hospital itself.  Going first to the registration desk, Ami asked which room the Queen was in.  They wouldn't tell her at first, but then Ami convinced them she was one of the Queen's close friends.  After they told her, Ami hurried on over toward that room.

But a little before she got to that room, Ami hurried through a waiting room where she noticed some of the other senshi women were.  By the time she could stop herself, Ami was slightly past that waiting room.  Because she realized she had just seen them (and because Minako had called out "Ami-chan!" upon noticing her blue-haired friend hurry through their waiting room), Ami doubled back and stopped in that waiting room.

Ami realized that while she was here with most of her friends, she should get an update from them "So what exactly happened in the attack?  And why did she need to be taken here?"

Minako first asked Ami how much she knew, to which Ami replied "Just that the Queen was attacked and she was taken here for treatment.  That's all that was in my messages back at the palace."

"Then you'll probably want to sit down first, Ami-chan," Minako advised.  After Ami had sat in one of the chairs in that waiting room, Minako slowly and sadly explained to her blue-haired friend "Neo-Queen Serenity was attacked in the kitchen in the middle of the night, when she apparently had gone there to get a snack.  The doctor there called for an ambulance for her, and she was taken here.  Once here, the Queen delivered and lost Chibi-Usa."  Minako was in tears at this point.

Ami sadly looked to Makoto and Rei, the other two in that waiting room, to see if they had anything to add.